I've got the Gee Bee Vee Bees

On Sat 11th March, a tribute to the late, great Guided By Voices will take place at the Korova, Fleet St, Liverpool. This will consist of several happening bands performing the music of GBV, as well as top DJs (alright, probably me) playing GBV and GBV related tunes. And maybe some other stuff too. Anyway, it's going to be a unique experience and a massive bargain to boot, so anyone with a fondness for Mr Pollard, or who just likes good music, should piarly cart their arse on down. Also, a couple more acts are still needed, so if anyone reading this is in or knows of a band that might want to take part (some hope), please contact me at badcolouringram@yahoo.co.uk

Rant- you decide

I do enjoy ranting. I consider it not just a pleasure, but my duty. There are so many things in the world that are terribly wrong, and can only be put right by someone on a seldom-visited webpage using awfully clever language to ladle on the scorn. The thing is, I don't know where to begin. So I'm asking you to help me. All you need to do is tell me which of the following you'd like to see me rip to shreds next-

The Brit Awards
James Blunt
The Conservatives
Newcastle United
MTV
The Christian Right
New Labour
Cats
Straight edgers
The Lib Dems
Animal Rightsists
Myself

Rant

The Turkish authorities are having difficulty carrying out a cull of poultry after an outbreak of bird flu in the Kurdish region of the country.

Interestingly, they've never had any trouble culling the Kurdish people.

Rant

Moby, notorious environmental campaigner and animal rights activist, has booked himself a place on the first commercial space flight.

He makes his money from advertising cars, then spends it on surely the most pointless and environmentally damaging conceit ever dreamt up. And still has the brass neck to ride other people's arses about smoking and what not.

Now that the season of goodwill's officially over, I hope the fucking thing blows up.

Wild women with steaknives

I commend myself to a death of no importance.
to the amputation of all seeking hands.
pulling, grasping, with the might of nations.
of sirens, in a never ending bloody bliss
to the death of mere savagery
and the birth of pearly, white terror.

Wild women with veins slashed and wombs spread.
singing songs of the death instinct
in voices yet unheard.
praising nothing but the promise of Death on earth.
laughing seas of grinning red, red eyes.
all washed ashore and devoured
by hard and unseeing spiders.

I commend myself to a death beyond all hope of redemption.
beyond the desire for forgetfulness.
beyond the desire to feel all things at every moment.
But to never forget.
to kill for the sake of killing.
and with a pure and most happy heart.
extoll and redeem Disease.

Diamanda Galas. Simply the wildest, rawest, most dangerous and least compromising musician currently active.

Guest Contributor- Tommy Lee

So what's happening baby? Killer! I know I've been away for a while, dude, but there's like a total reason. I've been getting myself a education. That's right baby, T-bone enrolled at the University of Nebraska, which as far as I'm aware is the best college in America. I wanted to go to John Moores at first, dude, where Dunc goes, but it turns out they've got no cheerleaders, no frat houses, no drum troupe, and the football stadium barely holds 40,000. What the hell kinda college is that? So anyway, dude, I attended U of N, three whole weeks dude, and now there ain't shit nobody can tell the Leester about any shit, man. I studied drumming, swimming, hat wearing, co-ed volleyball, and some shit about atoms bonding or something, dude. I got it down! And don't worry, dude, cos I'm gonna be putting my education to good use. This was a chance to better myself, man, and I'm not gonna throw it away. You see, dude, all I saw everywhere at Nebraska was hot innerlectual chicks, dude, you know with the glasses and shit, and they won't go for it unless you got a education. No way. So now I'm all done learning, figure I'll take Methods of Mayhem back out on the road. College towns, dude! And the titty-cam's coming with me! Killer!