The funniest man in print- Johnny Ryan  

Spin on this

Is everyone looking forward to Hobson's Choice, aka the general election? I see that the Lib Dems want to scrap tuition fees by increasing tax on top rate earners, and that Labour have called this plan "wildly unrealistic", or something. This of course begs the question- if the Labour party don't believe in taxing the rich to fund public services, what the fuck do they believe in? Is that not supposed to be, like, the point of the Labour party? I'm still going to be voting for them, though, because now that the Tories are virtually indistinguishable from the BNP keeping them out is of paramount importance. It was those posters that did it for me... urrgh. The Conservative party pander to people's worst nature and are attempting, some might say successfully, to generate an atmosphere of mistrust and suspicion- fear, basically- throughout this country. Their policies are misleading, divisive and woefully outdated. As for their statements regarding asylum seekers and gypsies- do people still not recognise Divide and Rule when they see it? It is, quite literally, the oldest trick in the book.

I think it still holds true that any Labour government is preferable to any Tory government, and any government at all is preferable to a Howard government. Besides which, most of New Labour's shortcomings relate to not being different enough from the Tories- the absolute last thing we need is to go backwards. I usually vote for the Greens, not because they're perfect but because, as an unashamed socialist and a committed environmentalist, they're the only party that really speak to me. I'll vote for them again in the European elections, but for now I think there's a bigger issue at stake. I've never voted negatively before but that's what I'll be doing on May 5th- a pretty lousy day for democracy.

Rejoice!

"Naw, ye git tae fuck, ya bastirt!" 

Ugly Birthday Happy Vision

I've just realised that it's one year to the day since I started this blog. I also notice that this has been perhaps the least productive year of my adult life. Must be coincidence.

In the last twelve months the Ugly Vision has gone from strength to strength- from no readers at all to maybe five or six. If my popularity continues to soar at this rate, I should be getting half as many comments as Pramila by the year 2020.

I'm off to get pissed because it's the anniversary of something. More stilted ramblings and ill-considered opinions to follow.

Dig the shit

I think you're sexy and funny too
I dig the shit out of you
We went on a date to the petting zoo
I dig the shit out of you

Your rhythms are fantastic
They make my hips go spastic
And I look like Elvis Presley do
I dig the shit
I dig the shit
I dig the shit out of you

Hens are birds and ducks are too
I dig the shit out of you
Sheep go bar and cows go moo
I dig the shit out of you

You turn on my emotion
You're worthy of devotion
And you've got more brains than Hawkins do
I dig the shit
I dig the shit
I dig the shit out of you

Goats were kids before they grew
I dig the shit out of you
Rabbits hopped and sparrows flew
I dig the shit out of you

We saw the gerbil and the dormouse
Then went back to your house
I went in the kitchen and made a brew
I dig the shit
I dig the shit
I did the shit out of you



Copyright Duncan Ingram 2005 all rights reserved, all wrongs reversed.