Get in there, father

I was absolutely delighted to hear the news that a Priest and Nun have been caught "doing it" in a car outside an airport in Malawi. I love it when things that could happen in sitcoms happen in real life.

Munkyfest tomorrow. Get in.

No!

GBV are only playing 25 more shows, ever- and none of them are in Europe, never mind the UK. In fact, all of them are in the USA. So that's it. No more GBV. In less anyone's up for Chicago on New Year's Eve?

Duncan the crab's favourite pastimes, in reverse order

5. Scurrying

4. Foraging

3. Climbing

2. Burying food

1. Staying still for so long that I think he's dead.

I've really been enjoying Simon's Silver Dollar Circle lately, even though he makes me feel old by talking about music I've never heard of.

The best website ever

Proof that there are people more obsessive than me out there.

Insert "crabs" joke here

Today I got a new pet- a land hermit crab. He's very small at the moment and quite cute, if you like crabs. He's a great low-maintenance pet who eats anything you drop in his tank. I've decided to call him Duncan, because i find the idea of having a pet with the same name as me really funny.

Neurosis

I know I'm a little late, but I just acquired the Neurosis & Jarboe album. It's everything you'd expect from a Neurosis release, i.e. soul-wrenchingly, heart-twistingly astounding. "Haunting" is a word that's bandied around way too much but there really is no other way to describe Jarboe's vocals. It's like having a particularly malicious ghost living in your stereo and spitting grey ectoplasm into your eyes through the speakers. Her contribution takes the music beyond the tribal and into quasi-religious territory. At times I could imagine it being recording in a monastery by the robed followers of some draconian sect devoted to the dark ecstasy of denial. It's a rite, a sacrament. There's more blood and guts on this record than in Jeffrey Dahmer's trash compactor yet it displays a prettiness and delicacy not often found in "industrial" music. The drawn-out repetition on the final track is getting to be a bit of an old trick, but I'd still heartily recommend this to anyone who, like me, finds the most fulfilling pleasures come from stretching the endurance of the senses. And to all you grannies and grandads out there still hankering after "tunes", get to bed it's after seven.

They rip the fucking shit out of horses, don't they?

Have a read of this story about horse mutilations in England. It's weird, nasty and kind of funny (mainly for quotes such as "80% of attacks on horses are not committed by humans"). It reminds me of the AC song "I ate your horse", and also of a story I heard a while ago. A girl who used to work at Chester Zoo used to have a horse when she was a kid, which she used to go and feed every day. One day the hapless child walked down to the field as usual, only to find a strange man, for want of a better term, fucking her beloved steed. I've no information on what action was taken by the man, the child or the horse, but it seems to me that everyone wants to do something to these creatures, whether it's make love to it, rip it apart or put a saddle on it and flog it til it lets you ride it. I just like stroking their noses. Am I a pervert?

Give 'em Hellas

Well done Greece! They showed the tenacity of the determined underdog to fantastic effect all the way through the tournament, and fully deserved to win it. A lot of supposedly bigger sides (notably en-ger-land) could learn a lot from them. They were winning balls in defence really well, and taking them straight forward like, well, a team that actually wants to win. Their "minnow" status meant that their game was devoid of complacency. They showed the passion and desire that is all too often absent in the sterile rat-race that is modern professional football. And it was beautiful.

On an entirely different note, recently I keep having dreams of a sexual nature about Zoe from Eastenders. I don't know why this should be because, although she's undoubtedly very attractive, I never think about her when I'm awake, and I hardly ever watch Eastenders. Can anybody offer an explanation as to why this might be happening?

Time to get boxed

There's a new blog in town. It shits on everybody else's, including mine. It's called The Edwardian Box. Read it. It's all over.